A Life That Never Knew Love
by princessOFdarkeness
Summary: Riku's life was turned into a living hell by two complete strangers one dark Halloween night. Now he has to live with he consiquences and himself. Complete summary inside
1. Chapter 1: Rape

Here we are again and yes, I wrote another story. This will be a chapter story so this isn't it if you like it.

Summary: At age 13, Riku Hykura went through hell at the hands of two strangers. Now at age 16, he stays away from all physical and emotional contact with other human beings, distancing himself from the people he used to care about the most. When a new boy named Sora and his family moves to town, can he help Riku see the world does have some good in it or is it too late for that, is Riku too far gone in his gothic depressing way of living away from the world? What happens when Sora finds out the dark tainted secrets from Riku's past? (Told from Riku's POV, thoughts are in _italics_)

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, it's as simple as that.

Warning! This story contains descriptive material – rape, cussing, ect. If you don't read those things I suggest you leave now before it's too late. You have been warned.

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**A Life That Never Knew Love**

**By: princessOFdarkness**

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"Come back here right now!" Zexion shouted after me as I stormed up the staircase to where my black bedroom door stood open inviting me inside even as he follow me towards it. "Can't we talk about this Riku?"

"Maybe I don't want to talk about this with you, did you ever stop to think about that? Did you ever stop to consider my feelings and to wonder if I actually wanted you poking into my life Zexion?" I yelled as I slammed the door in his face. I heard him collide with the door with a dull 'thud' and I smirked to myself, pleased that I had caused him pain. _Maybe now he'll have an idea of how I feel. Yeah right, like anyone could understand how I feel…_

"This isn't over yet, open this door right now, damn it Riku quit pushing me away! I'm here to help you!" He shouted through the wood, pounding and hammering hard on the surface of the door as I locked it and walked over to the open window to stare out at the dark night sky. "We used to get along great Riku, what happened? You never used to be like this."

"God damn it Zexion, GO AWAY!" I shouted back at him, breathing hard from all the screaming I had done recently. As I heard him marching away, finally defeated, I threw myself face first into the warm comforting mass that was my bed.

'_You never used to be this way…'_

With my brother's words still ringing in my ears, I stripped out of my faded blue jeans and my tight black tee shirt before flopping back down onto my back in just my black silk boxers as I stared up at the ceiling without really seeing it somehow. No matter how much I hated to admit it, I knew in my heart that Zexion had been right, I had been different once. But that had been years ago, three years to be exact, back when I was still innocently naïve of the world and it's cruelties. What was Zexion kidding, he knew the exact reason why I acted the way I did, hell, the whole town knew about it.

Without really knowing or comprehending what I was doing I found myself reaching deafly for the rectangular tin box I kept hidden under my bed. I felt my black nailed fingers curling around the metal structure as though it wasn't me doing it at all, as though someone else was experiencing it for me and this wasn't really me at all. I suddenly felt as though my body had been taken over, and maybe it had been. Maybe these last three years I had just been watching through my own eyes as someone else controlled my body and my actions for me. _This isn't the first time I've felt this way, I felt this way three years ago as well, on that night…_

I pulled the lid off the tine easily, tossing it lazily across the room and into my dirty clothes basket as I spilled the contents of the tin onto my coverlet. Old magazine clippings and newspaper articles littered it's surface, scattered over the sheets looking worn out and abused. _Just how I feel, they look like I feel…_

Rifling through the papers I find what I'm looking for and shove all the others unceremoniously back into their metal home. The rest are unimportant to me compared to the one held so carefully between my fingers, the one thing that kept the memory of that night intact above all other things. The only thing that could truly explain beyond a shadow of a doubt why I had turned out to be what I am today instead of how I was three years ago when I was still considered a child in the eyes of many. _They didn't care if I was a child that just made them even more ruthless…_

"Zexion, if you'd been through what I have then maybe you'd understand." I sigh to myself and the blank white walls of my prison-like room, letting my arm dangle over the edge of the bed so that the newspaper clipping from three year previous slips from my hand to lay face up looking expertly up at me. I stared down at the bold black headline that had ruined my life until I felt sleep overtake me at last and end my pain:

LOCAL TEEN RAPED IN CITY PARK ON HALLOWEEN

_Three years previous on the night of Halloween:_

"Damn it, I can't believe I lost track of time like that! I was supposed to be home half an hour ago!" I shouted at myself as I ran at breakneck speed towards home. Trick-or-Treat had just ended and I was already supposed to be home. "And after all the trouble I went through telling Mom and Dad that I was responsible enough to go on my own without Zexy." I sighed as I ran, my backpack full of treats clinging to my back. My parents had insisted I take my 16 year old brother with me just to be on the safe side, but I had complained loudly that I was 13 years old and able to do things on my own without my brother babysitting me 'thank you very much.'

"Mom is gonna kill me!" I panted, skidding to a halt in front of the locked park gates. "If I went through the park I'd get there faster than if I had to walk the whole way around it."

And with that I tossed my bag over the top of the fence and began scaling the wall, jumping down on the other side and collecting my things from where I'd thrown them moments before.

"Let's see, I'm at the south entrance now, so I'll just go straight through to get to the north entrance and home." I planned it out to myself, speaking aloud to make sure I had gotten it right as I started up the darkening path.

I heard a twig snap loudly behind me and swirled around, looking wildly for the culprit. Seeing no one I continued on my way whistling to myself to stay calm.

"Maybe I should have brought Zexy with me after all, it would have been nice to have him around now seeing as he's three years old and could protect me. Not that I need protecting, I am 13 after all." I mumbled to myself, my voice cracking slightly in my paranoid panic. Somehow, I felt as though someone was following me…

"Well well well, what do we have here?" A strange voice sniggered sinisterly. I gulped, backing away from the voice as it stepped out of the shadows of the tree and into view. Long silver hair, blue eyes that seemed to seemed to bore into my own as he stepped forward towards me where I stood terrified. I backed away dropping my bag beside the base of a stout tree in my panic as I went, sadly right into the strong waiting arms of the person standing just behind me, two strong hands holding onto my upper arms so that no matter how hard I struggled I just wasn't strong enough to get away.

"Not so tightly Xemnas, you wouldn't want to bruise my prize now would you? That make me angry, and you know how I am when I get angry." The voice cackled wickedly making me shiver.

"Oh no Sephiroth, I wouldn't want to damage him for you. It's just he's struggling so damn much, he's hard to keep a hold of!" The man named Xemnas cursed as I kicked him hard in the shin. The other male, Sephiroth I think, grabbed me by the neck and pulled me up so that I was dangling off the ground as I gasped for air.

"He'll be good now, won't you?" Sephiroth asked me, a slight sneer twitching his lips. I nod, unable to formulate an actual answer from the lack of air in my lungs. He dropped me back into Xemnas' waiting arms. "Cause Xemnas anymore trouble and I swear I'll strangle you with my bare hands and toss your body in the pond on the other side of the park."

I didn't struggle anymore, so terrified that he might carry out his threat so that I'd never return home to my family. The next thing I knew I was being forced onto the ground with Xemnas kneeling beside my head, holding my arms pinned down so that they pressed into the slightly damp ground as Sephiroth pulled a long thin strip of fabric out of his pocket smiling down at me wickedly.

It was then that my brain finally kicked back in and told me what to do – scream as loud as I could in the hopes that someone heard me and came to my rescue me.

"Zexy, Zexion save me! Anyone, help me please! HELP ME!" I cried out as loudly as I could, struggling and thrashing around as I struggled to pull away, to escape. Sephiroth frowned, punching me hard in the stomach before gagging me with the strip so that I couldn't speak.

"Idiot, the less you cooperate the more likely it is that you end up dead in that pond with my knife sticking out of your back if you catch my meaning." Sephiroth hissed at me as he leaned down close to my face. Xemnas laughed under his breathe as Sephiroth kissed the tip of my nose. I shivered, unsure of what they were going to do to me, sure that it wasn't going to be good either way.

"So tell me my sexy little victim, have you every played uke before?" Sephiroth asked in a high simpering voice making Xemnas chuckle even more.

"I bet he doesn't even know what that means boss." Xemnas sniggered.

"Hm, perhaps you're right for once. I bet he's still a virgin too." Sephiroth said in a low voice. He laughed as my eyes widened. "He's scared, now he understands what's going to happen to him. Shake your head kid, are you a virgin?"

When I shook my head 'yes' he laughed openly, rubbing his hands slowly together with a smile.

"Well kid, there's a first time for everything." He smirked. I felt as though my heart had imploded in my chest so numb was the feeling coursing through my veins like icy water.

"We're going to have fun with this one aren't we boss?" Xemnas cackled snidely, Sephiroth frowning as he raised an eyebrow at the man holding me to the ground.

"What makes you think I'm going to share him with you?" He asked coldly. "I intend to keep this one to myself."

"W-What!?!" Xemnas cried out. In his anger at his partner he forgot to hold onto me as hard as he should have giving my just the opportunity I had been hoping for. Flipping over onto my stomach I quickly gained my feet and ran down the path, my bag lying beside the tree where I had abandoned it. "He's getting away, Sephiroth stop him! He's gonna get away!"

"Not for long he isn't!" I heard Sephiroth roar from somewhere behind me. Suddenly I felt something slam into me forcefully in the small of the back sending me sprawling to the ground.

"Try something like that again and you won't make it out of this alive, got it?" Sephiroth breathed in my ear, the warm air sending chills down my spine. He kissed my neck, his weight keeping me pinned to the ground as I wiggled under him. Sephiroth moaned and leaned down farther, crushing me slightly. "I wouldn't keep moved around like that if I were you, you're just making it worse on yourself. I wouldn't wiggle anymore if I were you kid, I'm hard enough as it is."

He ran his hands up my back to my neck, tangling his hands in my hair as he flipped me over to look into his eyes, my body pressed against his chest raised a hand to tilt my chin up slightly, his mouth mere inches from mine as his heavy breathing ruffled my hair slightly. He pushed himself closer to me and I felt something pressing against my inner thigh insistently - something huge.

"Now, we're gonna take this nice and slow kid." Sephiroth smiled wickedly down at me as his hands moved up my arms towards my neck, his hands grabbing the skin there swiftly, twisting my face upwards as his lips slammed down onto mine as he pushed the fabric that kept me from talking down so that my mouth was freed once more, his tongue invading my mouth making me gasp even as I tried to pull away. _Nice and slow my ass, he's gonna rape me, that's nothing nice or slow about it! _Xemnas made cat calls from over by the tree where he was stationed, almost as though he was waiting for something...

He broke the kiss, replacing the fabric back into my mouth so that I couldn't speak again. One of Sephiroth's hands left my neck and wandered tauntingly down my chest, everywhere his finger's touched laving me with a creeping feeling that my body didn't belong to me anymore.

I belonged to Sephiroth.

Just as that disturbing thought occurred to me, I felt his cold hand work its way under my shirt as he dragged his fingers over my abs and up my chest as he pulled the shirt over my head and tossed it out into the ever deepening darkness. I shivered as he pushed me back down onto the grass rather more gently than I would have thought he was capable of doing after his earlier antics, his eyes gleaming as he moved to straddle my waist, the panic rising in my chest as he leaned down and kissed my stomach. Working his way slowly up my chest, he paused in his exploration of my cold shivering body just long enough to distress one of my nipples before continuing his path up my body until he reached my neck. He kissed the soft skin there before biting down hard, breaking the skin so that blood trickled down my neck onto the grass beneath me. As he continued to his painful attack on my neck I was secretly grateful for the fabric that was keeping me from letting out the shrieks of pain that were being held inside of me. When he was satisfied with what he had done he pulled back slightly, his tongue laving over the spot almost tenderly as he pushed me back against the ground again, pulling another strip of fabric and motioning for Xemnas to join him making me tremble.

"You know what to do Xemnas." Sephiroth smiled as he handed the other the fabric strip. Nodding with a small smile, Xemnas grabbed both my wrists roughly and pulling them together so that they collided together as he twisted the strip around them and tied the ends so that I no longer had control of my arms. _I'm losing more and more control to these two, what's going to happen to me? What if they kill me, what about Mom and Dad and Zexy? I don't wanna die like this, not yet!_

I was snapped out of my thoughts when Sephiroth yanked on the belt holding my jeans snuggly on my thin hips, my pants slipping down a little lower baring more skin to his gaze much to my discomfort. He licked his thin lips slowly, his eyes trailing once more up my half naked form until he reached my eyes captivating them with his, a strange power flowing through him and into me making it impossible for me to tare my eyes away from his as he reached up a large hand placing it on my waist as he straightened up over me looking up at the moon breaking the bond he had held up between our eyes.

My body stiffened as he looked down on me again and smirked, his hands moving towards the zipper of my jeans as if in slow motion, Xemnas' hands tightening their grip on my arms as he held them to the ground obediently as Sephiroth drew out the torments he was placing upon me one right after the other. The zipper was pushed down at a gruelingly slow pace; the pants were tugged down until they too joined my shirt out in the darkness leaving me only in my thin boxers. Xemnas moaned low in his throat as Sephiroth slid my boxers down inch by inch, caressing the skin with his other hand as he went making my writhe in self-loathing. Even though I couldn't control what was happening to me, I felt terrible anyways that there was nothing I could do to stop what was happening to me and to prevent what was GOING to happen to me if something didn't change - and fast! I hadn't a hope in the world at that point except that Sephiroth would kill me when it was over and done with so that I wouldn't have to live the rest of my life being scared of leaving the house in case there were other freaks outside waiting for me so they could have their way with me as he wanted to do.

"This is it kid; I have to say you look incredibly sexy from this point of view if that makes you feel any better." Xemnas poked me gently in the ribs with a smirk firmly in place as he did so. I looked up into the tree leaves over head, trying to somehow loose myself in the stars so that I didn't have to be conscious to what was going to happen to me. "Seph please, just take them off him already! I can't stand you teasing me anymore!"

"You want him then?" Sephiroth asked with a maniacal laugh that made me shudder in fear. He really was made from the stuff of nightmares in my mind, the devil sent to torment and torture poor innocent souls, if not me then someone else. "Sorry Xemnas but this one's mine. He's got me all worked up, I need to feel myself inside him to be satisfied in my lust. You're welcome to him after I'm done though if you want him. He won't be a virgin anymore but it's not like that matters to you, sex is sex to you. You want him after I'm finished?"

"Yes damn it, I do!" Xemnas snarled with a strangled groan, his hands pressing tighter against my skin making me gasp at the pain that shot up my arms at the pressure he was exerting through the thing gagging me. "Hurry up and get started Sephiroth, what if they sent someone to look for him? I'm not going to jail just because you wanted to screw around and scare the kid half to death before impaling him!"

"Keep your pants on for the time being Xem, really." Sephiroth smiled at Xemnas as he finished pulling down my boxers so that I was completely naked under his clothed body feeling scared and violated. _If that's how I feel now, how am I supposed to feel when they're 'finished' with me? Oh God, just kill me! End my suffering, please just take my soul from my body and set me free among the stars!_

"Damn, for a kid he's pretty sexy." Xemnas sighed under his breathe to Sephiroth as Sephiroth ran his hands up and down my legs as I trembled in fear. All I could do was tremble in fear of the two males holding me down all the while touching my body in ways I had hoped would one day be done by someone who loved me and whom I loved in return. But no, instead I was unprepared and being forced by two strangers to submit to God knows what by the end of the night. Sephiroth kissed a path down from my neck, my chest, my abs to my head where he stopped to look up into my panic-filled eyes before trailing a long finger up my length. I let my head fall back as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, unable to watch at he touched me, as his tongue flicked out from between his lips and taunted me, as he took my fully into him mouth, as he bit and nipped harshly at my sensitive skin making me cry out even as I was silenced from still being gagged. "Now Seph, just fuck him already! Do it!"

He nodded.

Suddenly I was being forcefully flipped onto my back so I could no longer see Sephiroth as Xemnas continued to hold my arms to the ground leaving red marks on my pale ivory skin. There was a rustle of movement behind me

"Ngh!" I screamed against the fabric gagging me, tears flowing down my face as Sephiroth thrust into me quickly, his hardened length causing me such terrible pain that it is impossible for me to describe it even in my own thoughts, I felt so violated and in truth I had ever right to feel that way, every right to feel scared and ashamed of my situation. He began to move swiftly atop me making me feel as though I was being torn apart from the inside, as though I was just too small or he was just too big. I heard him moan loudly as he pushed into me again and again. He was holding so tightly, roughly, cruelly onto my hips as he continued to thrust in and out of me faster and harder as he went until I felt something tear and a wetness that could only have been my own blood slipping out making him push in farther somehow and making me scream louder in the intense pain it created. I closed me eyes against the pain I was feeling, my body screaming silently for the pain to stop, for everything to end.

"So damn tight! Shit, so tight! Uh..." Sephiroth moaned sounding more like a wild beast than a human being as he continued to push into me, pulling almost completely out before thrusting in again. Suddenly Sephiroth grunted, and I felt something strange as be pulled out of me panting. I cried harder and didn't stop, realizing I had officially been raped and the fact that I had lost me virginity to a complete stranger. "Damn, let's take this one with us Xemnas; he'd be heaven to have around. Poor kid, he's gonna have to live with the fact that his first time was being roughly fucked in the ass in the middle of the city park at midnight by two rapists. Let's get out of here Xemnas, leave him. You're right; someone's bound to be looking for him by now."

"Not yet, we aren't going anywhere until I have my way with him Sephiroth!" Xemnas shouted back. Once again I felt something being roughly shoved into me, but thankfully Xemnas wasn't as big or hard as Sephiroth had been. But it still felt wrong, I still felt like my life was shattered, like I didn't own myself anymore. I belonged to them now, they had control over me. Sephiroth rolled towards me and yanked the fabric down so that when I scream this time, I shrieked it out for all to hear into the night. Moments later I felt Sephiroth yanking my hair so that my head was thrown back farther than was comfortable as he shoved himself in my face, forcing his way into my mouth as Xemnas continued to go in and out of me gripping tightly onto my now bruised hips. Sephiroth yanked my head this way and that as I gagged, trying to pull my face away from him before I suffocated. _I can't breath, oh damn, just kill me already! Please, just end it! _Will a loud shout from Xemnas I felt the strange foreign feeling again of something filling my up. Xemnas rolled away from me as Sephiroth continued thrusting into my mouth so that I choked. "Uh... you were right Seph."

"I'm always right." Sephiroth smiled as he pulled away from me breathing hard. I sobbed audibly, pressing my face against the cool ground as my body shook from the cold and the abuse it had been put through. "We better get out of here, I think I hear someone coming, shit!"

They ran of leaving me there with my hands tied together on the ground, my clothes nowhere in sight. The beam of a flashlight fell across my face as I lay there still crying in terror.

"Oh my God, I need back up down here in section 15A. I found the kid, repeat, I have found the missing teenager." It was a policeman, walkie-talkie in hand. I had been found.

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Well I hoped you liked it. This was the first time I wrote a lemon-type-thing so tell me how I did. Please review! All reviewers get a cookie and the best review gets a hypothetical picture of Riku in his boxers! Until next chapter then!!! 


	2. Chapter 2: Moonbeams and Pryo's

Well here's chapter two! Sorry it took so long, but I was grounded for get this – not wearing my coat one day that I walked across town to get home from school! Home's not THAT far from my high school and it wasn't THAT cold outside either… (Sighs exasperatedly at her Mother's antics) Oh well, I worked on this while I was grounded so maybe it's a good thing I was grounded from one point of view.

Thanks to everyone who read and reviews the last chapter! I love you all so much!!! Hee he, reading all those reviews made me feel so super loved and appreciated – and I don't get to feel that way a lot of the time so thank you so much!!! Oh, and if Fae and Brandon are reading this, you two make me feel super loved and appreciated every freakin' day my wonderfully kind perverted little darlings – except for the days when Fae tries to copy my homework or when Brandon doesn't show up at school. (People trying to get answers off me because they think I'm smart, because they were being lazy and didn't feel like doing the assignment, or because they fell asleep during class really ticks me off)

In this chapter, there is mention of 'Friday school'(s). For those of you who don't know what a Friday school is it's when you get in trouble so you have to stay after school on Friday for three hours. You can't talk, you can't get up to go to the bathroom, you can't chew gum, you can't break any school rules including the ones that landed you there in the first place, and you can't have electronics of any form. Sounds bad huh… luckily, I'm a goody two shoes so I've never had one. But my friends have and they told me how much it sucks. Yeah… that's all I have to say about that.

Okay, the winner of the hypothetical picture of Riku in his boxers is… Riku-Stalker! Love ya darling, you deserve it!!! Lol To everyone else who wanted the hypothetical picture, try to leave an awesome review this time and beat her out for this chapter's prize!!! Cookie for reviewers as well as a special prize for the best review!!!

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**Chapter 2

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"Riku! You up and ready yet?" A sweetly girly voice called out suddenly, disturbing my otherwise peaceful slumber.

"Go away." The only answer the voice was going to get for the time being.

"Riku, oh Riku, where for art thou Riku my love? My silver-haired beauty, my pale God of darkness, appear at thy window and reveal my heart's one true desire!" A sniggering male voice shouted over the female still calling my name. "Since poetry has no visible effect on you, I'll try a more direct route. All poetry aside, as bluntly as I can think to put it, get your skinny little ass out here where we can see you right now. I'm serious this time Riku, get out here!"

"Shut the hell up dickhead, I'm trying to sleep here if you didn't notice!" I mumbled sleepily, flipping over with my eyes still tight shut against the annoying beam of sunlight streaming in through the open window and onto my face. _I never did shut that damn window did I?_ The continuous calling of my name persisted making me more irritable than I already was. And believe me, I am NOT a morning person. And having people screaming at me this early in the morning presumably from out of my open window – not the greatest idea, you know, unless you want your head bitten off or for me to rip your face off with my bare hands. "Whoever you people are just go the hell away already damn it!"

"Come on Rik-ki-kee dear! We'll be late if you don't hurry it up!" Another girl, slightly more excited than the other female judging by the tone and sheer volume of her voice shrieked loudly making me growl in frustration as I struggled to shut out the voices calling my name so insistently.

_Why do these people sound so familiar? Do I know these people or something? _It had been late, very late, before I had finally fallen asleep if you could really call that falling asleep. Technically it was classified closer to passing out unconscious and on the verge of utter exhaustion. For some odd reason I couldn't quite put my finger on, my sleep-logged brain was having trouble connecting the voices I was hearing to a name or a face. All I knew for sure was that I had heard the voices before from somewhere, not that that information helped me narrow down who they were or anything. _Useless brain, why do you betray me so? And the day hasn't really even begun yet… Maybe they'll just go away and leave me alone if I don't say anything back to them._

"Damn, what will it take to make you all just go the hell away already!?!" I roared, stuffing one of my pillows over my head and ears to block out the constant shouts of my name now being accompanied by the loud honking of a car horn.

"A restraining order might do the trick but nothing short of that I'm afraid my dear." The male voice said with a small laugh. Noticing how much closer the voice sounded I felt my body automatically stiffen and raising my head just enough to glance towards the foot of the my bed – where my very best friend in the whole world stood smiling at me, a lit cigarette dangling from his lips to wobble slightly when he spoke sending thin wisps of smoke into the air that curled up towards the ceiling of my room, the unlit cigarette behind his ear contrasting sharply with his hair. "Do you think you might be able to get out of bed yourself and dress on your own, because I really don't want to have to go over there and do it for you. I think we can both agree that that would be positively mortifying. We both know I can't match clothes worth shit."

"Calm down Pyro I'm going, that won't be necessary." I grumbled moodily as I flipped off my covers and climbed off my bed like the zombie I felt like. Pyro, the nickname he had rightfully earned over two and a half years ago when he set fire to his own pants just to see what his most precious and beloved element felt like. Not that it was the only reason Axel had obtained this particular nickname of course. With his flaming red hair, the lighter and pack of cigarettes that inhabited the back pocket of whatever pair of jeans he was wearing at the time as well as the alternative sets he kept in the glove box of his car and his locker just in case he ran out, the multicolored flames painted on his junky old car, and the fact that he held a bonfire party ever other weekend or so, just to mention a few things, didn't make any of us consider changing his very appropriate nickname anytime soon.

Yawning widely, I stretched my arms high above my head before going to my closet to find something to wear for my trip to Hell – in other words, my High School. You can't honestly call being locked in a building for seven to eight hours with a few hundred moronic idiots who you don't particularly like the least bit pleasant. I finally found a suitable enough outfit – a pair of tight dark blue jean with rips at the knees, a short sleeved black tee shirt, black and white checked converse shoes, and a white hoodie with a large black skull on the back – and carried it over to my now vacant bed. Axel turned away, face going as red as his hair as my fingers curled around the elastic of my boxers that kept them from sliding down my thin hips, pulling them down just enough so that he got the picture and turned away so that I could have a little privacy as I switched into a clean pair of boxers for school. "Pyro my dear, I do believe you're blushing. Whatever for, I'm afraid I can't see what there is to blush about?"

"Can it, I think I noticed that on my own thanks. I just figured I'd be nice and turn away so that you could have a little privacy, but oh no, everybody pick on Axel instead!" Axel stammered hastily in a high unusual voice, going redder if that was humanly possible in his embarrassment. I smiled to myself making sure that he couldn't see me do so. My friends seem to think I don't smile enough. _See, I do smile, just when none of you are watching._ "Have you got your pants on yet by any chance then?"

"No, I haven't even had a chance to change my boxers yet, no thanks to this stimulating conversation if I may say so." I told him. He sighed, leaning his forehead against the wall. "Whatever is the matter Pyro? Are you alright, do you need to sit down and rest a moment to catch your breath?"

"Quit teasing me damn it, it's not a nice thing to do especially to your best friend. Don't make me set your pants on fire, because I swear I will if you don't stop teasing me right now, best friends or no." Axel whined, his threat completely empty. Axel could never hurt me no matter what I did, however heartless I was to him and everyone else at times. _He sounds so pathetic when he whines like that. I love being evil little me sometimes, it's so much fun!!!_

"How am I teasing you Pyro? What did I do to you?" I asked him in a sweet voice as soon as I had switched my boxers and pulled on my pants, zipping them deafly as I stared at the back of his black leather jacket giggling to myself inside my head. Of course, I knew exactly what I was doing to him to make him act like this. No matter how may times I tricked him into explaining it, he did it every time, never catching on to the fact that I did things like this just to hear him explain it to me one more time. I loved how he explained himself, how simple he made it sound. He spun around to look at me, his face set in anger.

"Oh come on, we both know my door swings both ways! Seriously, we all know I'm a peacock stuck in a flock of flamingos! A fruit loop in the bowl of cheerios of life, do you get the picture yet?" Axel's face was pink, his forehead crinkled up in agitation, but strangely enough his eyes betrayed his enjoyment. He enjoyed explaining this to me almost as much as I liked hearing him explain his sexual preferences so comically. Almost as much, mind you. "Seriously Moonbeam, everyone knows I'm bisexual by now. You're the only one who still acts like it's a shock, but now it's old news. Time to move on with you're life and get off my case."

Moonbeam, the nickname had given me when we first became friends all those years ago. My friends decided that with my silvery hair and my intense love obsession with the moon that Moonbeam was a fitting nickname for me, and I must admit that I quite agree with them.

"Really Pyro, I wasn't teasing you. I'm so sorry Pyro, please forgive me." I asked him sincerely. He shrugged off my apology with a frown, turning away so that he wasn't looking at me anymore.

"Well you hurt me Moonbeam, you hurt me inside. You shot a black barbed wire arrow right through my flaming heart inside my chest. I was just trying to be nice to you but oh no! If you'd prefer me to be all over you of course – " And with that he flipped quickly around, grabbing me by the shoulders and pushing me back onto the coverlet on the surface of my bed crawling on top of me so that he was straddling my waist, a knee placed on either side of my slender waist. I reached up my hands to push him off me but he stopped me, his own long fingered hands grasping onto my pale willowy wrists so that I was helpless to escape him as I lay under his long and much heavier frame of a body. _What's going on, why is Axel doing this to me? Oh my God, not again! I can't go through this again! I WON'T lose control of myself again, not to anyone!!! _He was smiling down on me with his smooth-sexy-Axel-smile, and even though I knew this was Axel sitting in top of me and not some serial rapist like that faithful Halloween night in the city park, it still scared me and made me shiver at the thought of having someone take control over me again. "- I'm sure that could be arranged. I can be all over you if that's what you want me to do Moonbeam. Believe me, no trouble with that on my part."

"Pyro, don't do this to me. Let me go." I said to him in barely more than a whisper as hard as it had become for me to breath in my panic at having him on top of me body. He ignored my words, leaning down slowly so that his face grew closer and closer to mine even as I tried to pull away from him to safety._ Axel wouldn't do this to me, what's going on? I can't go through this again, I can't take it! I have to stop this before it's too late for both of us!_ "Pyro, stop this! You're acting so stupid, let me go!"

"No, Moonbeam, not this time." He smiled lightly down at me, his emerald gaze seeming to pierce my very soul as I looked back at him, worried for my safety as well as his sanity. "You've always been so scared of letting other people get close to you, touch you, care about you. You need to let it go Moonbeam; you need to move on with your life so that those old wounds can heal. Those wounds they left you with won't ever heal until you let it go and learn to love again. By sheltering yourself off from the rest of the world you've let them win, those men who raped you three years ago are still controlling you even now and you're letting them by fencing yourself off! Take control of yourself again, let someone love you for you and not for your body. Let me love you Riku, and let yourself love again. Let yourself love me."

I watched spellbound as he kissed both palms of my hands lightly before kissing his way up to my neck to nibble at my jawbone almost lovingly, the contact from his thin lips on my slightly chilled pale skin making me shudder in fear. _This is Axel not Sephiroth and Xemnas - just try to remember that this is Axel. Even so, every time he touches me it reminds me of the hurt and the torment I survived that night and makes me feel scared for my life. The way he's looking at me right now, I can see them shining out of his eyes and it makes me feel so lost and alone inside. I have to get Axel to stop before it's too late..._

Axel smiled again, letting go of my wrists as he did so. He leaned down still closer, his face mere centimeters from mine so that I could feel his breath ruffling my hair softly like a warm summer breeze over the beaches I had visited with my parents and Zexion as a child. He trailed one hand up my body while using his other hand to balance over me, his fingers dragging gently over the side of my face as he stroked it. I tired to pull away from him the best I could but it was no use. His fingers continued to touch the soft skin of the side of my face sending shocks of electricity through my trembling body and down my spine. I had forgotten what it felt like, what the human touch was capable of doing to a person and it felt strange to me.

""Stop Pyro, let me go I'm begging you!" I pleaded but to no avail. Then I said the one thing I hadn't said in ages that I knew would make him listen to me – his name. "Axel, please let me go before it's too late and you do something we'll both regret later on."

He suddenly pulled back from me from me while still sitting atop me to stare down into my face with a look of mixed pity and confusion marring his otherwise handsome face.

"Moonbeam… you're crying." He said at last in a small voice, ending the brief silence that had lingered between us. I reached up a hand to touch my cheek, frowning slightly when I found that what he had stated was indeed true. In my panic and need to get away I hadn't even realized that I was crying at all, but I knew it now. And I felt slightly ashamed of myself and embarrassed that Axel had seen me cry. I wasn't supposed to cry, I never cried – not in front of people anyways. _No wonder Axel looks so damn confused and freaked out, he's never seen me cry before - no one has for that matter._

"Gee Riku, I didn't mean to frighten you so much, surely you must know that. I care about you. I always have and always will no matter what. You should know by now that I would never hurt you. No one's touched you before now for years Riku since that night…" Axel looked up at me sadly, almost as though he was about to tell me about something that was a big sacrifice on his part. And he did give something up that he treasured – me. He climbed off of me and headed for the window staring out of it with a blank confused stare. "And no one's going to touch you ever again if I can help it Riku, I'll protect you Riku, I'll make sure no one ever does anything like that to you ever again… because I care."

"Thank you Axel." I said shakily as I sat up. "We'd better get going then if what you all were yelling is correct. I don't want to be late and miss a minute of being detained."

"There's no hurry really, we won't be late. We left the house an hour early to come get you because we knew it would take an army to wake you up in time for you to get ready. " Axel smiled at me. I glared at him. "Don't give me that look, I KNOW you aren't a morning's person especially on Monday mornings. However today was a fairly good day, you woke up earlier than normal."

"I wonder why." I smiled to myself as he climbs out of my window and down the picket crossbar siding beside my window ledge. I head for the door to meet him out at his car where the gang was waiting for us. "Time to start another day, I suppose… life sure sucks ass."

* * *

"Wow, that was fast! It usually takes forever to get you out of bed and into the car Riku. Good job Axel, I didn't know you had it in you to do something right for once but I guess even **you** can surprise me every once and a while and do something of value." Kairi smiled sweetly at me from the backseat cheerily after giving her brother a contemptuous glare as I climbed into the front passenger seat. _She just loves rubbing it in that their 'parents' think she's oh so perfect and that Axel's the screw up of a child they're stuck with. I wonder if their parents would still think so highly of their darling baby girl Kairi if they found out who she's been sneaking around with behind their backs at basketball games…_

Kairi – Axel's preppy blue eyed cheerleader of a little sister; sometimes I swear that if she wasn't Axel's baby sister… I'd probably throw spit wads at her like I do with the rest of the cheerleading squad and the mindless jocks at all those pep rallies the whole student body are forced to attend on pain of death. Well, pain of detention or Friday school anyways.

"Yeah, I'm just awesome like that I guess Kai." Axel smiled at his little sister before turning back around in his seat to put the car into drive and rush down the street. I could see the vein in Axel's neck twitch slightly as I watched him for a reaction to Kairi's words, but he didn't say anything else. Things have always been rough for Axel at home, not that I knew everything that went on with him and his home life, but from the hints he dropped occasionally and the tidbits he willingly told me I guess it wasn't the best home life imaginable.

"So guys, where are we going for lunch today then?" Yuffie asked changing the subject before one of the siblings attempted to strangle the other, sticking her head up between the gap in the seats to exclude Kairi from the conversation and to make sure that Axel and I were both paying attention to her so that she didn't have to talk to Kairi. Yuffie doesn't really… her and Kairi kinda… oh hell, they hate each other! Shit, they worse than hate each other – the LOATH each other! That, of course, made it very amusing for me to see them sitting next to each other in the back of Axel's car smiling like they were best pals all along when I could tell both were just itching to gouge the other's eyes out.

Besides Axel, Yuffie is my best friend in the whole world. Yuffie was nicknamed The Tsunami, and if you've ever met her then you know why – completely spastic and fun but that comes with a bit of a reputation for being out of control. Like the time we all went sledding after dark last Christmas and she wanted to sled down a hill AS cars were coming at her. Needless to say we put her on a leash so to speak after that.

"I don't know, what do you want Moonbeam?" Axel asked me. I shrugged and looked out the window. "Well, what about Pizza Hut? I like pizza, you like pizza, we like pizza, hell everyone likes pizza! What do you say guys, you wanna get the whole gang together for lunch and go out for some Pizza Hut?"

"That sounds fun! Can I come too? I'd love to have lunch with you guys, I don't spend nearly as much time with my dear older brother and his friends as I'd like to." Kairi asked mockingly. Axel clamped his mouth shut tight and didn't say a word. Whenever Axel said anything to 'put down and discourage his adorable sister from having fun or spending time with her older brother' as his parents put it, he got in trouble. Yuffie poked me in the shoulder, deafly telling me to do something before she ripped all Kairi's long red hair out by the roots.

"Sorry Kairi, but if you come we'd need to take separate cars and no body else in our group besides Axel can drive. Maybe next time though, okay?" I said in a, very fake mind you, upset voice. She smiled at me and nodded managing to look genuinely upset. _Who's she trying to kid? We all know she only wants to come to dig up dirt on all of us so she can gossip about s with those other preppy cheerleader clones she hangs out with. Give me a break; she's pathetic playing the 'I wanna spend time with my other brother' card on us when we all know that she and Axel are constantly at each other's throats._

"Kay then, we're here everybody out!" Axel shouted loudly as he pulled into a park space in the back parking lot.

"You can't park here, its Marluxia's parking space! Marluxia is the caption of the basketball team and the absolute hottest coolest senior in school and in such you can't just go around taking his parking spot! It's not a cool thing to do Axel!" Kairi tittered indignantly, her hands flying in every direction as she spoke. Axel shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "If you do uncool things, people might not think I'M cool anymore! I have a reputation to upkeep you know!"

"Do I give a shit Kairi? Get out of the damn car!" Axel roared at her as he got out, slamming the door closed with a little more force than was necessary… okay, a lot more force than was necessary. She huffed and climbed out looking flustered. _I would LOVE it if one of her preppy friends could see her now – showing up to school with three of the rejects. I doubt they even know she's related to Axel, let alone that she's his little sister._

I stuck my hands in my pants pockets as we walked into the building. It was they same as always, all the preps talking at once and trying to figure out who they wanted to screw around with next, what outfit to wear to that party sometime next week, what she said to him after he said that to her at the movie theater on their date. Chaos, complete and utter chaos as always, my life never changes out of the mundane rut it's stuck in.

"Come on my other wonderful social rejects, let us go and join our other comrades in the in the sanctuary that is solely ours." Axel smiled, his arm slipping into the crook of my elbow so that he was pulling a very reluctant and paranoid me down the hallways, Yuffie holding onto his other hand happily. _What is it with him today? He knows exactly how I feel about being touched, and here he is dragging me around by the arm. Does he seriously what me to geek-out in front of everyone and cause a scene? Damn it Axel, why do you have to do things like this to me!?!_

"You mean the back staircase that leads up to the band room and the higher levels?" I asked him with a smirk as I pulled my arm out of his loose grasp. He nodded, and thankfully didn't try to take me by the arm again.

"I love our staircase, no one ever uses it except us." Yuffie said with a giggle, skipping behind us. "That's part of what makes it such a good place to hang out. No intrusions not usually anyways unless some band geek took their trumpet home and needs to return it to the teacher or something nerdy like that."

"Watch it Yuffie. I'm a trumpet or did you forget that little fact? Watch who you make fun of from now on Tsunami, or you might just end up getting you head smashed in." Axel said with a jovial poke between her ribs so that she knew he was joking around with her. She blushed and looked at the floor but didn't say any more. We reached the door to our staircase and Yuffie rushed inside. I went to go in after her, but Axel grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Hey Moonbeam, can I talk to you for a minute – in private?" He asked me quietly. His voice had changed from a moment ago. It was subtle but I could still hear it.

"Of course you can Pyro, that's what friends are for." I said to him kindly. From the tone of his last statement I knew whatever he had to say wasn't going to be good news. He opened his mouth but nothing came out and he turned away from me finally defeated with a small sigh. "What is it Pyro?"

"It's about my home life, I think it's time I told you what's been going on Riku. I know I should have told you before now, but I just didn't know how." Axel explained slowly, still not looking at me. "It kinda starts out with my dad and something he did that wasn't exactly… well, it was just kind of sickening and horrific, for me especially."

He paused, his head dropping down a few more inches as he looked at the floor.

"You don't' have to say a word if you don't want to Axel." I said softly. _What could it be that he seems to think that he can't tell me what it is? He's always been able to tell me everything before now, hasn't he?_

"I want to Moonbeam, I do, but it's just so difficult. God, I just don't know what to say or how to explain it to you without you freaking out. You have to promise me this won't come between us as friends and that you'll think no different of me after I tell you, alright? I have to know that you'll be there for me always before I tell you." Axel said in a constricted voice, his hands shaking slightly.

"I promise."

* * *

What's Axel have to say about his home life? And for those of you reading my other Kingdom Hearts story 'Without You Around,' Axel doesn't have the same problem in this story as he does in that one… well, maybe a little but not exactly. That's all I'm gonna say about if for now.

Okay, I hoped you liked it!!! The special prize for this chapter is… hmmm, I need to think of a good one this time even if I can't beat out a picture of Riku in his boxers (drools)… Oh, I know! The person who leaves me the best review this chapter gets either one of Axel's cigarettes or Riku's hoodie. Now let me just say – I AM TOTALLY AGAINST SMOKING!!! But if it was Axel's cigarette I'd keep it in a jar and treasure it always as long as I couldn't smell it. Cigarette smoke is really bad for me because guess what – I'm allergic to cigarette smoke and other smoke bothers me and makes me gag! Well there you go, there might be two winners this time because there is two prizes so… leave a good review and state which present you'd like (if you want one, if you don't just leave a review for the cookies I'm baking – they're homemade!)

Until next time!

Oh, and this is a shout-out to my honorary little sister Chris and my 'older brother' Roby Emo!!!! (I'm really an only child but apparently my friends feel it was time I had siblings)

'_The World knows not the way in which it spins'_ – me, the princessOFdarkness


	3. Chapter 3: Drunken Problems

Sorry it took so long to update, I've been busy...and I had the flu virus. Yes, it was miserable, and no, Im not completely over it yet. I will survive! Lol

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts… if I did there would be a lot more of Axel, Riku, and Zexion…

Warning: This chapter involves drunker teenagers, lots of cussing – not the innuendo for freakin' though only the more minor cuss words, mentions of rape and other cruel actions… emo-ness… I guess a bit of character OOC really because I'm not sure the characters of Kingdom Hearts were this… um… well, messed up or emotionally unstable.

So anyways, on with the chapter then!!!

* * *

Chapter 3

"_**I promise." **It only took two small words to change the way I saw of Axel for the rest of my life._

"Here's how it is Moonbeam, there really isn't a way around it other than say it." Axel sighed deeply, twirling long finger around a lock of fiery hair as he started his strange and extremely twisted tale. "Where I do I begin exactly? Let's see… well, for starters my dad – meaning my biological father of course – is in federal prison with a life sentence."

"Your dad's – your father – is in prison?" I asked him, thoroughly confused beyond comprehension by Axel's confession. I could quite clearly remember him telling me once a few years ago back his father was killed in a deadly car accident, but all I got from Axel in way of explanation was a sullen nod of the head in my direction. "Pyro, you told me your dad was dead, killed in an accident."

"He's not dead yet, the lucky bastard. If there was any justice in the world he'd be dead." Axel said softly, his eyes full of fire at the mention of his real father. He paused, breathing hard for a moment before carrying on. "I told you he was killed was because I was too embarrassed to tell you the truth. I lied to you about him Moonbeam; all because I was afraid of what would happen if anyone else from our school found out. I couldn't bring myself to tell you the truth about what he was because I was ashamed of myself for never speaking up against him and… for what I let him do to me for so long."

"What do you have to be ashamed of if he was the one that went to prison?" My head was spinning, and without really knowing why I felt so lost even though it was Axel's problem. I guess it as probably because out of all the people I knew I cared about him the most and trusted him more than anyone else, which might not being saying a whole lot because I didn't trust anyone nowadays. Axel sighed and looked away, not bothering to try and shot him shoulders from heaving as he sobbed. I knew in my mind that I should go to him, hold him, comfort him somehow – but I couldn't force myself to move. Even though I hated to see him in so much pain, I couldn't forget my own or abandon my fear of being close to anyone long enough to make sure Axel was alright. God, I'm such a coward! "What did your father do to land himself in jail Pyro?"

Axel turned slowly to face me, was still in his silence, a foreboding sign from someone usually so animated and who almost never shuts up for more than a minute consecutively. In those few moments all I thought about was Axel, and as I stared at his tearstained face it seemed to me as though a veil between us had been pulled back at last so that I could see – finally truly see for the first time – how Axel's inner turmoil had been affecting him, how the secret had been eating away from him from the inside. I could see the depths of his soul, so filled with an inner pain and suffering I felt I had known at one time as my own. There were so many little things I'd never noticed had changed about him before – like the way his once brilliant emerald eyes seemed clouded over, their sparkle shrouded by the darkness imparted upon him by his father still lingering in his heart. How strange it looked for him not to smiling, me wondering now if they had been forced ones mirroring my own. The way his hands seemed to twitch in their unused state as though he was always on edge, afraid that something might just out of the grave to try and drag him down with it. All these small little things I'd never really taken the time to notice before now laying out before me so eloquently, making me feel as though I had failed him as a friend, and maybe I was no friend at all for that. Maybe for not watching out for him in the light of my own grief I had failed him as his best friend. Maybe I didn't deserve to have him care about me at all.

"Moonbeam, do you remember when we were in elementary school together, so young and carefree compared to how we are now? How we would all play together, but I'd always be the first one to leave because I had to get home so I could see my dad before he left for work?" Judging by how he said them, I could tell these questions had an underlying meaning somehow even if right then I couldn't tell what it could be. I nodded at him, not daring to speak. "I didn't really leave to see my father before he left – I left you all to make sure I was well hidden and out of sight before my father got home. It was when he actually saw me that I had real problems."

"What did he do to you Pyro, why did you feel like you had to hide from him?" I asked in a low voice, not sure that I wanted an answer; I waited for his reply as if balancing on the edge of a knife.

"At first everything was fine at home, almost normal you could say. Mother told me one day that from then on I was to get home right after school and hide myself away in the closet or the attic or somewhere else where I wouldn't be seen so that I wouldn't get hurt. I didn't know what she meant, but I did as I was told and everything was fine. Until one day when I snuck away from my hiding spot and peeked at what was going on between my mother and my father." His tainted words fell from his lips like ice pellets, his tone cutting deep into my mind in his disgust. His hands shook so bad it got to the point where he had to shove them in his pockets, his self control ebbing away visibly. "I saw then why I had to hide from my father every night. With my eye pressed against the keyhole to the bedroom door I saw… my father beating and hitting my mother, cursing at her the whole time, finally throwing her down onto the bed and raping her before falling asleep still on top of her. I was scared he might have killed her because she still hadn't moved, so I opened the door to the bedroom and went in to save her. He woke up and let his anger out on me, hit me and threw me around until I was knocked unconscious. But then again I suppose, at least I wasn't raped like my mother was… or like you were…"

He broke off, looking as lost and confused as I had ever seen him in my entire life. Axel had always been the strong one, the brave one, the one who knew exactly what had to be done so that we could keep surviving through the hell we call life. Now that person was gone it seemed, replaced by someone vulnerable and to the point of breaking – someone desperately in need of a little help and comfort. And for once in my life, I pushed aside my own fears and did what I knew in what I had left of a heart needed to be done. Reaching out my own trembling hand I touched his softly, barely hesitating before taking it up in my own to place a soft kiss to it. Axel jerked in surprise before calming and just looked at me, his eyes showing his mixed feelings as I pressed myself against him and held him tightly by the waist, hugging him for the first time of my own free will – and all because I couldn't bear to see him in such intense pain anymore. So what if I couldn't love him like he wanted, so what if my injured heart couldn't love as everyone else's could, I still cared about him in my darkened twisted way.

I know it must have thrown him off, because didn't hold me back. Even after his profession of love for me, my decision to actually hold him in my arms without being forced still through him off. I guess I should have expected as much, I had been shocking him a lot lately. _First I cried and then I start hugging people… what's next, me tap-dancing in a flowery pink dress?_

"Riku… what are you-"

"If this is what it takes to help you Axel, then so be it. You were there for me, and now I'm here for you." I closed my eyes, wrapping my arms tighter around his lean waist. I felt him place his hands softly on my shoulders, tentatively, before quickly wrapping them around my chest pulling me closer, ever closer as he cried into the crook of my neck and shoulder. I let him cry until he was all out of tears, the left shoulder of my hoodie practically soaked with his salty tears but I didn't care. He pulled back with a small sniff, letting me go. My arms slipped from his waist, taking two steps back from him breathing hard from having him so close even if it had been of my own free will. "How long Pyro, how long had that been going on before someone finally spoke up about it and stopped him?"

"Six or seven years total I think, happening on any night that I wasn't hidden well when he came home." His voice sounded so monotone and lifeless to me after how animated it usually was. I looked him over, trying not to cry as I did so. Axel looked so haunted to my eyes, so utterly destroyed by what his father had done to him so many times. "If anything good came out of my dad being a giant perverted asshole, it was that my mother and I were that much closer. Until she got remarried to my current step dad, now she doesn't give me the time of day anymore unless she's yelling at me for doing something my new dad says is stupid or immature. He's totally got her turned against me, and what's worse is they think Kairi is just so perfect and that 'I should try to be just like her' since I obviously can't set a good example for her or some shitty excuse like that. I hate them so much because all they do is judge me against Kairi and everyone else. They can't just accept me for who or what I am, it's like they have to keeping tying to pull me down to survive. Why can't they just let me be who I am and leave me the hell alone for once?"

"Axel, I'm sorry. Why couldn't you just tell me before, I could have helped you. Somehow, I would have helped make it better." I said gently, my voice laced with the pity I felt for him. He looked me over a moment before answering.

"I though I could handle it on my own, you know? I figured if I let anyone in, even just to help me, they'd just get hurt." He smiled at me weakly, his explanation mirroring the reasons why I hadn't let anyone into my own life or close to my own heart. It was then I realized how very similar we were, the two of us, locked forever against the human race through our fear and hatred. "I guess… I guess I was wrong."

"Everybody has to be wrong sometimes Pyro, I guess this was that time for you." I don't know what the hell made me say it; all I know is that I did. The next thing I knew however, I was pressed against the cold stone wall with Axel up in my face looking so strangely down on me that I lost my nerve and let out a small quiet whimper of terror. And if you think first, that I showed my terror and panicked, and second, that I was pressed against a wall and against the well toned body of a person I knew at the same time, didn't scare the shit out of me after what I've been through then you're crazy as hell.

"I don't know what to do Moonbeam, I'm so damn confused. And it's really time I got me some help before I do something drastic. I guess… I guess I was wrong about you. I was hoping you were made of stronger stuff than I was. That you might be able to help me, but I guess I was wrong after all," said the redhead already walking away from me just as the bell rang. And I, just as I always did, just stood there and watched as life past me by like the people now rushing passed me to their classes. Worried what Pyro had meant by drastic I headed off for class, secretly worried for my flame obsessed friend. I had always been the one in emotional distress… what was I going to do now that Axel was holding the title too?

I guess he didn't really like my reaction to his life story because for the rest of the day and the three days that followed I didn't see Axel around anywhere. Not that I didn't try mind you, I did. It's just that it's hard to talk to someone who's avoiding you like you were the plague. Even people who don't like physical contact like humanoid interaction from time to time – as long as I don't have to touch anyone of course. Having Axel avoid me was terrible.

It was alright that first day half day after he had told me, you know, I figured he just needed his space or whatever. On Tuesday I found it rather odd that when I got ready to go I didn't have a ride waiting, but me being me I assumed Axel was just running late or he had to pick up our other friends and just forgot to call me to ask if I could bum a ride off Zexion. I walked to school on Tuesday – but when he didn't show up Wednesday morning I took the hint and bummed a ride off Zexion. At lunch it was miserable – Axel sat at one table, I sat at another, and our three close friends – Yuffie, Larxene, and Paine – were forced to choose between us. I hated doing that to them, but the first day when I attempted to sit with Axel he took his tray and left, clearly indicating he didn't want me there. On Thursday we had a lab assignment in Chemistry. I always partner up with Axel and Paine – until that day anyways. Axel grabbed one of the extreme skateboarder dudes by the arm and plopped him down on the stool I always used when we had a lab assignment. Guess where I ended up? With two of the smartest damn freaks in the class... they treated me like I was a complete moron or something. _I'm intelligent, if I'd just apply myself._ I nearly drank some of the arsenic we were working with…

Life without Axel, living without my fiery bisexual crazy cigarette smoking best friend, was more of a hell than usual. By Friday I was fed up, and I knew I had to do something – and fast. There was only one thing for it…

"I gotta find Tsunami. We need to talk."

* * *

----

"Hey Moonbeam, there you are! I thought you and Pyro were right behind me on the staircase. Must have been wrong though, huh? I just turn around and both of you were gone." Yuffie smiled as I onto the bench beside her at lunch four periods later. With a playful ruffle of the hair she handed me half of her sandwich – peanut butter and marshmallows, just the way I like it. Yuffie makes the best sandwiches, even if they are a little unconventional. "Oh, just so you know, we're taking Thunderbolt with us today. She left her car at home because she had a fieldtrip today that was cancelled so she needs a ride."

"Alright," I nodded, not sure whether or not Thunderbolt coming with us was a good thing or a bad. Sure, we were close friends… but when Thunderbolt in a car with certain other people – mainly Kairi – you have screaming matches that don't stop until broken up with force, usually me or Yuffie.

Thunderbolt was the nickname given to a rather vicious blonde named Larxene. An intense love of storms and lightning coupled with her loud as thunder voice earned her the rather fitting nickname will now called her.

"Anyways, that's beside the point. Let's get down to business Moonbeam." Yuffie took a hurried swig of her chocolate milk before giving me her undivided attention, a small uncharacteristic frown firmly in place as though she'd already guess what I wanted to talk to her about. "So what's up? The note you slipped into my locker said you had to ask me something important."

"We both know helping people isn't my thing, which is kinda why I needed to talk to you. Here's how it is Yuffie – something's wrong with Axel, and I don't know how to help him but I can't really tell you what's wrong with him either." I asked it softly so no one would overhear me, sure that if word got around Axel would never forgive me. Yuffie looked me over a moment before startling me senseless with a reply I didn't expect.

"He finally told you about his father, didn't he?" She said it quietly, a hint of pity in her voice. I couldn't tell if that pity was directed at Axel… or at me. I blinked, surprised. "I guess he finally decided it was time to tell you. I knew he should have before, but he made me swear not to tell you anything about it until he thought you were ready to know. He was going to tell you earlier, he really was, but we weren't sure if it was too soon for you to know after… after Halloween. It could have been terrible if he would have told you right after… you know. He wasn't sure you were ready to know yet, so soon after everything, so he decided to wait to tell you. I guess he finally thought you were ready."

"But what if I'm not sure I was ready to know yet?" I couldn't tell you were it came from, what I said to her. I just let everything go for a moment and let my thoughts come out for her to hear. And that doesn't happen very often.

"Well, Pyro must have thought you were finally ready to know the truth, and I think you were too. I think it's about time Axel told you, you might be the only one that can help him get over this. After all, to be honest, you're the only other person I know who's been through a situation shittier than Pyro's." She paused, giving me a moment to think about what she had said. For once in my life, I had no reply to give her. My own thought were so jumbled in my head, I wasn't sure what I should say or do, let alone how to help Axel. "Well Moonbeam, what are you thinking now?"

"How can I help Pyro when I can't even help myself?" I let out a small sad sigh, looking at her without really seeing her at all. I couldn't even help myself, how the hell could I be any use to Axel? How could Yuffie expect me to help him if she couldn't when she was the most normal out of the three of us, as weird as that sounds. "How can I help him get over his own fears and problems when I still have so many demons of my own to deal with?"

"We all have our own personal demons, Moonbeam. You just need to learn how to keep them under control." Yuffie picked up her lunch tray, walking away but leaving me with lots to think about. As much as I hated to admit it she was right – I needed to get control of my demons AND my life again. But even thought I wanted so much to let my demons go and get them under control…

They wouldn't let me go as easily.

* * *

----

Axel was silent as we walked out of to his car and filed inside, not speaking up against the people who shouted things at us for being what they deemed unworthy, not shouting when some threw a crushed up soda car that hit Yuffie in the back of the head, and sadly for me not wanting to talk to me.

"Come on Pyro, you can't ignore him forever." Yuffie whined as she flopped into the back seat, shortly followed by Larxene. Axel sighed, rolling his eyes at her. "If you don't listen top what Moonbeam has to say, I'll start singing 'Cheer Up Emo Kid' by Patent Pending really really loudly until your brains turn to mush."

"You wouldn't dare." Axel challenged, Larxene sighing deeply and covering her ears as Yuffie took a deep breath and started belting out the chosen song. I shoved my fingers in my ears, praying Axel would give in to her demands soon so that the torture would end swiftly. After around the fifth time she repeated the song Axel finally gave in, honking the car horn to get her attention. She nodded in his direction and shut her mouth as he turned towards me, his disapproving scowl evident. "Well then, what do you have to say to me that's so important Yuffie tortured me with her sucky singing?"

"Look Pyro, I don't really know how to help you get over all your problems and no, I can't tell you everything's going to be alright in the end because I'd most likely be lying to you. Things at home will probably end up harder for you before they get easier, but you know what? We all keep living anyways – we crawl out of the safety of our beds, throw some clothes on that we'll probably get laughed at for wearing, and do what we do everyday." I paused, catching my breath before plowing on. He was silent during my whole speech, his face showing no emotion. It was scaring me; frankly I would have at least liked to know how he was taking in what I was saying. "But even if I don't have the magic solution or a big Axel-sized band aid that'll make everything go away, I'm still here to help you through this or anything else. You just need to tell me what you need from me when you're feeling down and out, and maybe I'll pick up on what the hell you do to comfort someone eventually and be able to do it on my own. If you haven't forgotten, I'm usually the one with the problems so I've never really had to comfort someone before – but I'm willing to try, for you. What I'm trying to say is… I'm here for you Axel."

"I know you are Riku, I know." It was all he said, his eyes filled with his unshed tears as he pulled me into a hug over the gear shift. Yuffie and Larxene made small girly noises from the back seat causing, thankfully, for Axel to let me go so that he could shout at them as Kairi clambered into the car. I groaned as we pulled out of the parking lot, for as expected, Kairi started off on another of her gossip rants.

"So guess what? Becky Holland and Tommy Johnson had a huge blowup break up in the middle of the quad today at lunch. Of, if you would have seen it! I mean really, she was crying all over the place, she was so pathetic!" Kairi was just as annoying as ever on the ride home. She still wouldn't shut up, and she was still gossiping even though I'm pretty sure she knew that none of the other occupants in the car gave a rat's ass about what she had to say.

"Hey Kairi, guess what?" I could feel the sarcasm in Larxene's statement, and I also knew this was going to explode resulting in a screaming match from the three people in the backseat, because of course they would drag Yuffie into it somehow and then it would never end while Axel and I would sit in the front and try to ignore them the best we could until we could bolt out of the car to safety. Looking down at the digital clock on the car radio, I made a mental note that Kairi had set a new record – it usually takes at least ten minutes for her to piss Larxene off so with five she really broke the record. "I really don't give a shit abut your cheerleader nonsense gossip. All you brainless Barbie doll look-alikes piss me off. I'd rather drink cyanide right now than listen to any more of your shitty gossip. Why don't you just stick that in you pom-poms and shake it?"

When Kairi didn't reply scathingly as expected, I turned around to stare at her. What I saw almost made me want to cry with laughter. Kairi was staring at Larxene as though she wished she could just smack her across the face, her own red and blotchy in her anger. I looked quickly over at Larxene who winked before turning to look at Yuffie on her other side and strike up a conversation – which Kairi interrupted of course.

"You know what Larxene, I really pity you." Kairi said it as softly as you would an endearment, but it came out sounding like a threat nonetheless. Larxene should have gotten whiplash from how fast her head spun around, her blondish-yellow hair swirling around her face as she looked at Kairi. "You've never been as popular me, which is probably why you can't possibly understand how totally important gossip is. If you don't know, like, everything you'll fall right back down into the ranks of the other nobodies. Just. Like. You – wait, never mind, you're worse than a nobody. You're a bitchy loser druggy skateboarder slut. That's even worse than being no one."

"You little whore! I'll show you, you bitchy slut of a cheerleading clone whore!" With that the cat fight had begun with Larxene ripping off her seat belt to pounce on a shrieking Kairi as Yuffie took off her own seat belt to try and hold Larxene back so that she couldn't strangle the panicking redhead girl under her, Yuffie getting elbowed in the nose by Larxene on accident.

"Um, I think you'd better pull over somewhere Pyro, Larxene's strangling your sister." Kairi was beginning to turn a light horrifyingly ugly shade of purple when I spoke up, sighing heavily as I undid my own seat belt and clambered into the back to try and break it up. In the five or so minutes it took Axel to find a safe place to pull off the road – it turned out to be the corn field beside Kairi's boyfriend's house, actually, I noticed once I took a look around us – I had pulled Larxene off Kairi so that she could breath, shoved Yuffie into the front passenger seat beside Axel so she was out of my way, sat myself in Larxene's lap with one of her wrists in each hand to hold her down, and was successfully holding Kairi pinned against the other side of the car by pressing one sneaker into her chest and the other into her stomach for which she was screaming at me that I would ruin her cheerleading uniform. Like I gave a shit about her cheerleading uniform – she should have been grateful I didn't let Larxene strangle her. I would have if there hadn't been the jail time that came with letting Larxene strangle the redheaded bitch. Jail really didn't sound like fun to me. "Damn Pyro, couldn't you have gone any faster? Those two were spitting flames at each other by the time I got involved."

"Aw, it was only a little cat fight. It's not like Larxene would have killed her, and maybe a few punches would knock some sense into her think skull." Axel climbed out of the car and smirked, grabbing his sister roughly by the arm dragging her out of the car and frog marching her to the front door of Marluxia's house where he knocked politely. When a shirtless – and very confused by the look on his face – Marluxia answered the door, Axel thrust his slightly flustered and lightly bruised sister into his arms, saying, "I think you must have dropped something earlier, you should hold on to your things a little better. Oh, and you can keep her, believe me when I say I don't want her." He marched back to the car where Yuffie and I stood gawking at him as he wrenched open the car door, plopped down inside, and slammed the door shut so hard the windows rattled. "Are you two coming or not? I need to calm down."

And thus we ended up at Yuffie's house lying on the roof, Larxene having pressed a beer bottle into my hands not knowing I'd never drank one before, the lot of us drinking our troubles away with the music way too loud as Axel lit cigarette after cigarette and flicked them off the roof in a bored fashion. He always did this when he was bored – a pull from the cancer stick then flick it away, light another one, and then start all over again until the pack was finally empty. Yuffie, on the other hand, was singing her own version of a 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' and doing terribly – but then again, I'm to drunk to care how bad it really is.

"I'm tried of this – let's go do something fun for a change." Larxene complained, sitting up and swaying as she walked blearily to the edge of the roof. Spreading her arms as wide as she could, she let her head fall back, eyes closed, soaking up the moonlight. "I want to take off and fly off this roof, right here, right now. Who wants to go with me when I take off?"

"Come on Thunderbolt, stop being dumb. People can't fly." Axel said with a small laugh, flicking a cigarette butt at her. She swatted it away as it flew towards her face, nearly slipped off the roof waving her arms wildly before laughing as she caught her balance again just in time. "Get away from the edge before you kill yourself. I really don't want to have to peel you off of Tsunami's grass tomorrow morning if you catch my drift."

"Fine, I won't fly of the roof then. But I am walking home, it's really late and my aunt's gonna flip out on me for staying out so late. Not that I care what she says anyway." Larxene huffed, climbing back into the house through Yuffie's open bedroom window like always. I sighed, following her, Axel following a second later.

"Tsunami, are you coming in or not?" Axel called out the window to her. Her foot dangled down over the window, her flip flop falling in through the open window. "Ah shit, she's drunker than I thought. You better come in the house Yuffie. You might roll right off the roof in your condition."

"Nah, I'm gonna stay up here a little while longer. You guys just head home, I'll be fine." Her other flip flop fell, this time down past the window into the swirling darkness of the yard. I leaned out of the window to watch it falling with my hair falling into my face, Axel pulling me roughly back in so that I wouldn't fall out after it.

"I guess I better go get up there and pull her in before she falls off her own roof and dies. I don't want to go to any funerals this year. You go wait downstairs for me, I'll be right down." Axel heaved a heavy sigh, lifting himself back out of the window to go after our drunken spastic friend.

I shrugged in a slanted way, walking drunkenly out of her room, out of the house, and out into the street to begin my long walk home. I was too drunk to stand still like I'd been commanded, too stupid and foolish and juvenile to wait for Axel like he'd told me too. I knew I was smashed and in such shouldn't be walking home, but I really didn't care. Maybe I had finally reached my limit and just wanted life to end. Maybe I was just too drunk to care what happened. I didn't even notice someone was following me until I felt a strong hand on my shoulder steadying me as I swayed. I spun around; terrified for my life even if I was completely out of it and I came face to face with none other than Axel.

"What's going on Pyro, your house is the other way." My words slurred terribly as I reminded him, thinking he must have been lost in his slightly buzzed state. I could tell he wasn't drunk like I was; he had only had one or two beers where as I had drunk… it had to at least have been a whole pack…

"I know where I live Riku, but there's no way I'm letting you walk home alone like this. You'll get yourself killed walking around in this state." He said it in a stern voice I had never heard him use before, and in my current condition I just laughed at him, chuckling feebly as he picked me up and tossed me almost lazily over one shoulder. "Why do you have to drink so much? Damn it Riku, you need to live your life like the end of it instead of trying to end it. You're the youngest and you drank way more than the rest of us did and I know this was your first time drinking alcohol too which makes it worse. Do you really think your life's so bad that you won't stop until you can't bring the bottle to you lips?"

"Uh huh!" I burst into a fit of giggles and hiccups I couldn't suppress – I had totally given complete control to the alcohol running through my veins, my head lolling to and fro bumping against Axel's back as he walked farther with me still a burden slung over his shoulder like a drunken rag doll. "Life sucks Pyro; I drink to make life go away for a while."

That was the last thing I remember before I blacked out completely.

* * *

----

"Shit, my head…" I clutched a hand to it in pain, trying to push the pain into my fingertips without succeeding. I head a cold laugh from somewhere near me.

"After what Axel says happened to you last night it's not over you still have a head at all." I opened my eyes and saw a very grim faced Zexion seated on the end of my bed. He looked up at me, his eyes like ice. Here we go again. "Riku, do you have any idea how late it was when you finally got back?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure you're going to tell me." I groaned, pulling out a drawer in the small side table beside my bed searching for the bottle of aspirin I kept there. Axel had once told me aspirin helps with the nausea.

"Is this a joke to you Riku, what, is life just a game to you now? You can't have been killed last night! What the hell made you act so stupid? You're just lucky Mom and Dad weren't home last night when Axel brought you home unconscious. I'm not going to tell them this time, but I swear if it happens again I won't cover for you!" Zexion was shouting at me again, just causing my headache to throb worse than ever. All he said went in one ear and out the other. "You were completely smashed Riku! What if you got hit by a car?"

"All I do is because problems for everyone, no on would miss me." I sighed, flipping over to press my face into the pillow, drowning out his voice. I heard the bedsprings creak, the bed bouncing slightly as he got up to leave. Looking up I saw him standing in my doorframe, a single tear glistening on his pale cheek as it slid down his face.

"You'd think that wouldn't you Riku? Typical for you really, always assuming the worst – a lot more people would miss you than you think." He left me alone with my killer headache as the only company before I drifted off to sleep where it was safe.

* * *

----

I love Saturdays – the freedom from school, my parents always had to work, Zexion was usually at the library being a better son than me, and the gang would all get together and hang out until we decided to go home.

But this Saturday was different – this Saturday I had my first hangover souvenir of my first ever night of drinking on Yuffie's roof with the rest of them, the one's that had done those kinds of things before once I had gone home. Now I knew what they did on those rare really shitty days when they didn't drop Larxene off first like always.

A light knock on my bedroom door which I ignored, squeezing my eyes shut. The door opened and I still didn't look up, pressing my face farther into the pillow to drown out the light. The ominous creak of bedspring as someone sat down on the edge of my bed, me still not ready to face the day or the nameless person seated next to me. It was the warm reassuring hand placed on my shoulder than made me finally look up blearily at the people clustered beside my bed.

"Hey Moonbeam, you doing okay after last night?" Yuffie's voice sounded so loud I had to clap my hands to my forehead to keep the room from spinning. I pushed her away out of my face where she had been kneeling beside the bed. "Not that good huh?"

"What else did you expect, he drank more than the three of us combined." Larxene chuckled coldly from where she was perched on my desk, her arms crossed as she stared over at me. "I'm so sorry Moonbeam, I feel responsible. It must have slipped my mind that you hadn't ever drunk before. I shouldn't have given you that bottle last night."

"It's not your fault Thunderbolt. You wanna know why?" I was surprised at how shaky my voice sounded. She he eyes softened, and sliding down from the desk she made her way over to the edge of my bed where Yuffie still knelt. "I could have given it back to you or thrown it off the roof or just told you no, but I didn't, which is why I'm where I am right now. I chose to drink way more than I should have to last night, and now I'm gonna deal with the consequences. I don't have anyone to blame but myself."

"What happened to the Riku who blames everything bad that happens to him on the world, did I miss something while I was at Alternative School for a week?" I looked over Larxene's shoulder towards the door where our other partner in mischief, Paine, stood leaning against the doorframe. She raised a hand in lazy greeting before joining everyone else beside my bed, her dark eyes filled with worry as she felt my forehead. "I see Pyro wasn't kidding when he told me you really got yourself smashed last night when I called. Damn kid, I'm proud of you. I didn't think you had it in you to get yourself this drunk!"

"Don't encourage him Paine, he might do it again ad get hit by a damn car." I peered over at Axel sitting on the end of my bed almost exactly where Zexion had sat when he attempted to chew me out earlier when I was too exhausted and screwed up to care. Axel gave me a weak smile, a reassuring pat on the leg through the blankets. "You look so messed up Moonbeam, really you do."

"Thanks Pyro, I feel so much better now." They all laughed at the sarcasm making my head throb. "Ouch, that hurts you know."

"Well, that's why we're here. We're gonna help you get through this hangover so that if there's a next time – which knowing you there will be – you'll be able to deal with it on your own, okay?" Yuffie explained, handing me a water bottle and some aspirin which I swallowed gratefully. She nodded happily, skipping out of the room going after who knows what to probably shove down my throat.

"You should really drink another swallow or two of beer this morning." Paine said offhandedly. I just stared at her, lost for words. She shrugged it off, shoving her hands deep into her pockets. "What, it helps me when I have a hangover. But then again, I drink a lot more often than you do too. It might just make you worse, so better yet, just ignore my last statement."

"Just out of curiosity, have you has your system purged yet?" Larxene asked hesitantly, taking a few hasty steps back from the bed when I gave her a questioning look. I sat quickly up and opened my mouth to ask her what she meant, but I had the chance to do so. As soon as I sat up I felt so dizzy I could barely keep my eyes open, and what's worse is I could feel my stomach churning in warning that I was going to be seeing me insides up close and personal spilled everywhere if I didn't get something to puke into soon. I booked it to the small bathroom attached to my room – if you can still call it 'booking it' if you trip over your own feet several times, run into a desk and the rolling chair beside it, and knock over a floor lamp in you way. "Well, it is now I guess. Poor thing, it just SOUNDS like its rough on him. Do you think someone should go in there with him, you know, to check up on him or something like that? I seriously don't remember puking that much my first hangover."

"You also didn't chug as many beers in a row as he did last night, believe me, I remember your first time like it was yesterday. You ended up passed out drunk on my bathroom floor after vomiting yourself into tears, and you'd only drunk a third of what Moonbeam guzzled down last night." I heard Axel say from the other room in a slightly disgusted voice, walking to where I was kneeling in front of the toilet writhing and gagging. He crouched down beside me, kindly holding my hair back out of my face as I let my system purge out all the alcohol I had forced into it while his other hand rubbed my back in slow soothing circles to help with the queasiness I was feeling. It helped slightly, and soon I didn't feel the need to vomit ever five seconds and cleaned myself off and flushed the nasty evidence of the previous night's alcohol abuse away, wiping my mouth off on the back of my hand. I took three steps and tripped, leaning heavily on the edge of the sink for dear life as I started to slip down to the floor, Axel finally taking pity on me enough to pick me up to carry me across my room and deposit me back on the bed where I cuddled back up in the warm blankets. "Easy now, just rest a bit. There you go Moonbeam, is that a little better?"

"Yeah, I don't feel nearly as bad now." I coughed, closing my eyes and leaning back against the pillows. Someone placed a cold rag on my forehead, Paine or Larxene, I think. Everyone was swirled into one person right then when I opened my eyes, keeping them closed the only way to stop the spinning feeling in my brain. "I am never gonna drink again, the fun part isn't worth going through this hellish purging hangover state."

"You say that now, but you'll do it again Moonbeam, we all know that, even you." Yuffie sighed, taking my hands and pushing something into them. I opened my eyes and looked down at what she'd handed me. "Its just normal coffee, drink it, it'll help."

"If you say so," I sighed and took a swig. It tasted strong, but not altogether unpleasant. After I finished the whole cup I stretched, feeling much better than before. "Hey, that actually helped, thanks Yuffie."

"Aw, it was nothing Moonbeam, that's what friends are for. You really need to get some rest, so we'll just leave you now okay? You should eat a raw egg later today, I heard it helps hangovers. If you need anything, call one of our cell phones and we'll be here as fast as we can with whatever it is that you need. You got that kiddo?" Yuffie smiled as she tucked the blankets around me and turned off the lights, ushering everyone to the door. "Goodnight Riku."

"Bye Yuffie… everyone… thanks…"

* * *

----

I woke up Sunday morning bright and early, no more headache or dizziness, my symptoms completely cleared up. I yawned, stretching my arms wide above my head. I heard a small muffle knock on my bedroom door and went to open it coming face to face with Zexion.

"I see your awake then, not hung-over anymore I hope." The bitter note in Zexion's voice was overshadowed by the worried note lingering over every syllable. It was then I noticed what was clutched in his hand. He thrust it into my hands and started to walk away.

"Zexion wait…" He paused on the stairs, looking at me over his shoulder. I looked down at the floor, unsure of how to say all that needed to be said and all that I wanted to tell him. In the end I gave up searching and just said it. And yes, I'm sure it sounded weird. "Thanks for not ratting me out for last night… and for this."

"No problem, what else are big brothers for anyways? Believe me little bro, I've had my share of stupid stunts in my lifetime." Zexion smiled lightly at me, shrugging off my thanks with a grin I hardly ever saw him wear, especially around me. "Drink that before it gets too cold. I have to get up to the library to find a book on Julius Caesar for one of my collage classes, and Mom and Dad are at that church parent's picnic thing so just call me on my cell if you need anything."

"Bye Zexion," I mumbled to myself, shutting my bedroom door with a soft click. Taking a gulp of the freshly brewed coffee Zexion had handed me I went and picked out an outfit for the day. Just as I was finishing getting dressed I heard the honking of a car horn outside and glancing out my window saw a moving truck backing into the driveway across the street from my house. "Huh, no one's lived there for years. I wonder who's moving in."

Guess there's only one way to find out…

I hope the others don't mind if I ditch them for the day…

* * *

Done, chapter 3 is done! Sorry it took so long… issues and all that. I hope you like this chapter!!! Next chapter is where you meet the people moving in across the street from Riku!!! Guess who it is! Anyone who can guess right gets a cookie! 


	4. Chapter 4: New Nieghbors

Hello again all you lovely people!!!

K, here goes... I don't own Kingdom Hearts – Reno would be in it if I did and Axel wouldn't have died – and I borrowed a line from the movie 'Mean Girls' for this chapter. Anyone who can tell me what line I borrowed gets a kiss from Riku!!!(or one of the other characters if by some freaky 1 chance you don't want a kiss from Riku... I know I would love a kiss from Riku...)

Oh, and in case you're wondering about the stray last names everyone has in this story I made them up – actually, they're French for the most part. Riku's isn't, but most of the other ones are. At the end of the chapter I'll tell you what the last names mean.

On with the chapter!!!!

* * *

Chapter 4

_I hope the new neighbors don't mind me being a little nosy... And even if they do, part of spying by nature is not getting caught in the act..._

Twenty minutes later – because I just couldn't leave the house without at least managing to scarf down one or two of the pancakes my mother had gotten up early to cook me before she left for the picnic – I found myself walking across the street, and weaving between the movers lifting heavy furniture made my way to the sidewalk facing the house that led to the front door. Even I had to admit it was a pretty nice looking house, even if it was way smaller and shabbier than the one I lived in.

I snuck around to peer into one of the moving trucks, catching a glimpse of a skateboard, two bikes, and a beat up looking old football. _Guess they have kids or something. If its little kids they'll be noisy, if its teenagers they'll most likely be preppy... there's no pleasing me is there?_ I stepped back from the truck as a few movers climbed inside, walking back to where I had been standing in front of the house. There didn't seem to be any occupants at the moment so I gave it up as a lost job.

Walking back across the street I selected my all time favorite seat up the tallest tree in our yard looking out over the street. There I would be comfortable and hidden from view, while still being able to peer across the street at the new inhabitants when they finally arrived to start moving in. Little did I know at the time – what a show I was going to be in for when they finally showed up.

No sooner than I was comfortable did a loud 'honk' of a car horn blast from the end of the street and the next second a small procession of vehicles pulled up in front of the house so that the occupants came spilling out, their vehicles still blocking the road until the trucks could move out of their driveway – a peculiar looking muscular blonde with spiky gravity defying hair slid skillfully off a fiery-red Harley motorcycle going over to knock on the window of the jet black Grand Prix, the blonde walking off towards the front door as the sullen brunette that had been driving it got out or the car, shortly followed by three others, a dirty blonde haired teen carrying a guitar case, another shorter blonde that had his nose stuck in a book, and a second young looking brunette boy. They looked a rather odd grouping standing in front of the house together as the tallest stern brunette struggled with the key to get the door open, finally succeeding. They all piled inside and I sighed, and thinking the entertainment had left, leaned back closing my eyes for a peaceful nap –

And then as I began to doze off my cell phone started to ring. I started awake at once, falling from my sturdy branch and as I started to fall somehow managed to fasten my legs around another tree branch, hanging upside down by my knees as I riffled through my pockets for my phone, all the junk cluttered in them falling to the ground. It was a lucky thing I was quick otherwise I might have snapped my neck. Frustrated, I flipped open my phone.

"What'd you want?" Yeah, I was probably ruder than was necessary, and yes, it was partially because I had almost fallen to extreme injury or death. The other part of it was I just didn't feel like being cooperative today.

"Damn it Moonbeam, what the hell did I do to you?" I sighed, realizing too late that it was Paine on the other end of the phone. I heard a mad scuffling in the background eclipsed by some static, and when I heard her voice again I realized she had set down the phone or handed it off to someone else. "You talk to him, or have her do it just not me or I might start screaming at him. Moonbeam must be having a PMS attack on the other line or some other freaking gay mood swing thing. I hate people right now, don't talk to me. What the hell are you looking at Tsunami?"

"Hello? Please don't bite my head off, I come in peace I swear." It was a very shaky sounding Yuffie. I would have laughed if I wasn't still so angry at being woken up and panicked into falling out of the tree – that and she would have heard me and then my emo-I-hate-happiness-and-laughter reputation would be shot in the ass. "She was fine a minute ago. Now she's punching my dresser, I'm afraid she's gonna hurt herself. What the hell did you say to her?"

"Well if she hadn't have made me fall out of my God damn tree I might not have been so inclined to yell at her!" I scoffed, agitated with everyone. Were they all gonna gang up on me today or something? It's really starting to seem like it from where I'm standing... um, hanging. "Here I was minding my own business... sort of, but we can talk about that later... and my phone scares the shit out of me and I fall out of the God damn tree! I could have snapped my neck and died for all you know!"

"DAMN IT I BROKE A FINGERNAIL!!!" Was heard from the background, Paine shrieking so loud it hurt me ears through the phone. I clapped a hand to my forehead already feeling the beginning of the killer headache I was going to have by the end of the day. "This is all Riku's fault!"

"Oh my God, I swear you two have to be the biggest drama queens in the entire universe!" Yuffie laughed, my face going red immediately. And now that my blood was really boiling I wasn't about to hold back because she happened to have done absolutely nothing to me as of yet besides hurt my ego – let the flood gates open and everybody drowns.

"Shut up you stupid moron, you're not the one that fell out of a tree! If you don't stop laughing I am so going to strangle you the next time I see you!" I shouted at her as loud as I could, my voice cracking slightly under the pressure I was exerting on it. She just laughed harder than ever at that. "THAT'S IT; I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU YUFFIE! YOU'RE BEING JUST AS GOD DAMN BITCHY AS PAINE IS! PUT AXEL ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW!"

There was a ten second pause in which I fumed silently, then-

"Hello?" I could tell he was confused but I couldn't see why – it was pretty obvious what was going on. I mean really, I could still hear Paine's shouting and Yuffie's laughter in the background along with the thin blanket of static.

"Hey Axel it's me," I sighed loudly, closing my eyes as the blood continued to rust into my head. "God those two girls are such idiots sometimes. Humanity just needs to go fall in hole right now."

"So... what the hell happened here? I come back from the bathroom and Paine's lying on the floor shouting up at the ceiling all red in the face as Yuffie rolls around on her bed laughing her brains out and complaining about being called a bitch as she hands me the phone." His explanation nearly made me laugh, as mad as I was, and I smirked into the phone lightly. I explained quickly, him staying silent until I was completely finished. "Well, I think I get what's going on now. I think all three of you have PMS or something girly like that, all three of you sound more screwed up than normal today."

I didn't reply – but I did the next best thing to it. I flipped the phone shut ending the call, and tossing the phone down onto the grass at the base of the tree pulled myself up onto the branch before beginning the long climb down. My phone went off again from where it lay in the grass and picking it up glanced at the caller ID – Larxene, the one person who hadn't been involved in that last ridiculously idiotic phone conversation that had pissed everybody else off. I decided to answer it at lat, sighing as I did so.

"Hello, you have reached Riku's phone, may I ask who is calling?" I smiled softly when her harsh twittering of a laugh shot through the speaker into my ear stopping as suddenly as it started with a small hiccup. She was so different from the rest of my friends – one minute she was laughing easily and the next she was depressed and sullen. I remembered once asking Axel why she was like that, and he said that when she was younger she had lived in another town. He house caught fire one night, and as she was trying to escape the burning building a beam had fallen and struck her in the back of the head knocking her unconscious. When she had awoken, it had been to find that both her parents had died and that the beam had scrambled her brain leaving her with a spilt personality disorder that her aunt and now legal guardian had no patience for. She was only stable when she was drunk – that was part of why she drank so much. She felt normal when she had alcohol in her system, she felt just like everybody else. "Hey Thunderbolt it's me, just messing with you, what's up?"

"Nothing much really, just calling to see if you wanted me to come get you so that we could hang out at my place, you up for a little house party? My aunt's at work all day and won't be back until midnight so we have the house to ourselves for the day." She sounded drunk already, a troubling sign. I didn't like the idea of her being by herself when she was drunk – mainly because the last time she had wanted to fly off Yuffie's roof and would have if Axel hadn't stopped her. "Come on, it'll be fun. We can call the rest of the gang to come too and order pizza or something. Oh, we can harass the pizza boy, I love that, or we can get Pyro to hit on them!"

"I'd love to Thunderbolt but I have... to go out with my parents when they get back from the church picnic. I can't get out of it, I'm sorry." I bit my lip, hoping she would buy my lie. She did, groaning into my ear. Truth be told, I knew if I hung out with her today, while she herself was drunk, somehow I'd end up with a hangover the next day. It's not that I don't know HOW to say no to my friends – I just really don't care enough about what happens to me to say no... Well, most of the time anyways. "You should call Axel and the rest of the gang they're all over at Yuffie's already. I'm sure they'd love to party with you or come pick you up so you can hang with them."

"Boo, you whore!" Her laugh was punctuated with a hiccup, followed by a resounding 'click' as she hung up on me. I sighed, flipping the phone shut and stuffing it into my pocket before flopping down on the grass to stare up at the clouds. I slowly let my eyes drift shut, relishing the nearly perfect day as the cool breeze skittered playfully across my face. Everything was perfect – and then a shadow fell over me, a very big human shaped shadow. I opened my eyes... and came face to face with a pair of big blue eyes that looked oddly familiar.

"Shit!" I pulled back, terror flowing through me. The last time I had seen eyes that color so closely was when Sephiroth... I blinked, looking around my yard for the source of my panic, half expecting the pair from my nightmare to jump out of the flowerbeds beside the wrap-around porch and come after me a second time. There was no one there.

I was alone.

* * *

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"Damn it, where the hell is he? We're going to be late if he doesn't hurry up!" Yuffie bounced up and down on the balls of her feet impatiently beside Paine who was pissed off at the world as usual and Larxene, who surprising was calm and quiet looking extremely unconcerned about what was going on around her. "Where's Pyro at and why isn't he here yet? He said for all of us to wait for him outside your house right Moonbeam?"

"That's what he told me last night when he called me and asked me to call the rest of you and tell you." I sighed rubbing my eyes distractedly, worried by Axel's absence. "Did anyone try calling him yet this morning?"

"I did earlier, he didn't pick up." Paine sat down on the curb and wrapping her arms I around her knees rested her chin upon them. "He better get here soon or I'll-"

"There he is!" Yuffie cut her off, Paine glaring up at the black haired girl standing beside her. Sure enough, Axel's beat up car came speeding down the road, screeching to a stop in front of up. We all piled in, me taking my usual spot in the front seat as always as the three girls fought over who got the window seats – in the end Yuffie ended up sitting in the middle as always, her peppiness standing no chance against the pure angry disturbed teenagers she had to argue over seats with. "What took so long Pyro?"

"I was getting a lecture from my step-bastard about leaving my sister stranded at Marluxia's as if she didn't love being there to screw around with her preppy dickhead of a boyfriend. She called Friday and said she was spending the weekend with him and his family, but she didn't say anything about me leaving her there like I did until this morning." Axel's tone was harsh, his words stiff and unfeeling. I tried to catch his eye but he turned his face as far away from me as possible while still being able to see the road. I saw tearstained of his cheeks and I bit my lip, not wanting to say anything in front of the girls in case he didn't want them to know he had cried.

"No big deal then, it was just a lecture right?" Larxene stated as she stared out the window at the blurs rushing past us, twirling a few stray strands of her hair around her finger absentmindedly.

"Right Thunderbolt, just a lecture." The way Axel said it worried me more than anything else. When he parked the car outside the school the girls filed out as usual, but I stayed behind with Axel who hadn't made a move to get out of the car just yet. "Go on Moonbeam, you're going to be tardy if you don't hurry."

"Not until you tell me what really happened to you this morning. I can tell your weren't telling the whole truth Pyro, I can tell when you're upset, there's no use trying to hide it from me." I turned in my seat and started at the side the side of his face I could see. He slowly turned to meet my gaze – my heart stopped when he did. "How did you..."

"I told you, my step-dad and I had a talk this morning about how big of a screw up I am." He sighed deeply, looking away from me as if ashamed that I was seeing him when he was weak. It was like last week all over again, except this time I could see the scars his family had given him in the vivid purple bruise just beside his left eye.

"He hit you?" My question was breathless, my shock apparent. He nodded, a few tears falling softly down his face. "Does your mother know about this Pyro?"

"No, and she doesn't need to know Moonbeam. It's not like she'd believe me even if I told her. He'd just lie to her and she'd believe him like she always does." Axel slammed the heel of his hand against the steering wheel in frustration. "I'm fine Riku, don't worry about me. I just needed a second to clear me head I guess. Let's go, we'll be late."

I nodded silently and followed him into the building. Turning a corner I heard an excited squeal as Yuffie rushed over to us, one hand holding a clipboard stuffed with papers as she tried to attach a name tag to her shirt with the other.

"Hey guys, what do you think?" She asked us, gesturing at her name tag. It read: _Yuffie Guerroyeur, 10th grade._

"Tsunami, I think everyone already knows your name." Axel said it gently, almost like you would to a small child when you're trying to explain to a disgruntled kindergartener that one plus one equals two.

"No stupid, it's for the new student I'll be showing around this week. Apparently there are three new students that will be starting today and they need student guides so I sighted up for one of them. Hey, I've got a great idea!" She smiled expectantly at us, her eyes glinting as they always did when she came up with a plan – or when she really needed to go to the bathroom. All clues pointed to this one being a plan though – rats. "Why don't you two show the other two around, it'll be fun and you get out of classes all week to do it."

"Wait, you get out of classes all week?" I asked, hesitant. Where these kids such violent psychopaths that the establishment had to bait people into showing them around all week? "What are they like?"

"Well, the principal said that the reports she was sent from their old school said they were all very polite and nice to others and that one of them was really overly intelligent." Yuffie screwed up her face trying to remember the details like she always did. "And they're all boys. Um, I think that's everything."

"Yeah, I'll pass." Axel scoffed, smirking at her. "I'd rather shoot myself than be a student guide, skipping classes or not. No way would I be caught dead letting an annoying preppy smart goody-two-shoes tail around after me all week like a lost puppy."

"Yeah, are you kidding?" I sneered, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "That's a death sentence Tsunami, you know that? You'll regret it by the end of the week; I'm willing to bet you on it I'm so sure."

"Interesting..." I turned around just in time to see a reddish ponytail whip out of sight around the corner. Dread filled my stomach, churning my breakfast around like it was on the Tilt-A-Whirl at the county fair.

"Whoa, are you alright Moonbeam, you look like you're going to be sick." Yuffie clutched the top of my arm protectively, steadying me as I swayed.

"I just say Kairi Pyro, I think she heard what we said about showing the new preps around. She ran off in the direction of the offices." I clutched my stomach as Axel rushed past me after me, me hoping it wasn't too late.

Of course, it already was. That's just my luck isn't it?

A minute elapsed before I heard it through the intercoms, Yuffie dragging me towards the offices and towards my imminent doom – _Riku Hykura, Yuffie Guerroyeur, and Axel Fuego to the office._

'There you three are, I was beginning to think you'd only sighed up as a joke!" The secretary let out a chirrup handing Axel and me our nametags and clipboards. I of course had problems with the safety pin and ended up poking myself in the shoulder – Yuffie helped me fix it to my skin tight black 'My Chemical Romance' tee-shirt while the nurse went to fetch me a band-aid. "You know dear, if you'd have worn a looser shirt you might not have poked yourself."

I didn't reply, there really was no point saying anything. I knew I wouldn't win, this was a brainless adult secretary convinced that she was right and I was wrong. Axel let out a small laugh from behind me as if knowing what I was thinking – he hadn't had any problems with HIS nametag. I'm convinced mine is defective or something. Or it just doesn't like me.

"Well, the new students haven't arrived yet so I'll have to ask you to just take a seat over there in the teacher's lounge until they arrive. It shouldn't be too long of a wait; I'll come get you when they arrive." We filed out of the office into the nearly empty back room she had shown us into and sat down in the chairs by the small coffee table, Axel and I both making up whispered plans on how best to extract revenge on his other-worldly bitch of a younger sister as Yuffie sat humming to herself in a cheery fashion as she flipped through a magazine she had picked up. Nearly ten excruciating minutes later, I heard the office's front door open and people shuffle in. I silenced the others with a look, gesturing towards the door with my hand so that I could keep them the quiet to listen.

"_You must be our new students, welcome to Destiny Island Local High School!" _The ever cheery secretary cooed. She reminded me somewhat of a pigeon, but don't ask me why. _"Here you go, I need your parents to sigh these tonight and for you to bring them back in tomorrow. You won't have to start classes this week as you'll be touring the school with your own personal guide so that you don't get lost. I'll introduce you to your guides now, follow me please."_

"Here we go then, get ready for the worst week of our lives Moonbeam." Axel frowned as the sound of footsteps became louder and the door creaked open. Four people entered, the three teenagers huddling together rather nervously as the secretary walked over towards us.

"These will be your guides: Yuffie, Axel, and Riku. They have nametags in case you forget." We all stared at each other as though lost as to what the hell we were supposed to be doing. "Well alright then, I'll just split you all up shall I?"

She walked over to the three hesitant looking males, pulling the tallest and least nervous looking away to stand apart from them slightly.

"What's your name dear?" She asked kindly, noting his obvious hesitance.

"Demyx Rêve, Miss." He smiled brightly, calming down considerably when Yuffie smiled and waved at him kindly as she did nearly everyone.

"Well Demyx, you'll be paired with Yuffie." Yuffie skipped over to him and offered him her hand which he shook lively, and together they skipped out of the office like the actors in the Wizard of Oz did in the movie. "Let's see, and what about you young man?"

"I'm Roxas Rêve." He smiled lightly, still seeming a little nervous judging by the look he threw the remaining unnamed boy behind him. I could understand why he would be nervous, I mean, I could guess Axel and I probably didn't look at all enthusiastic about showing them around.

"Well dear, you can go with... Axel." I frowned, watching Axel stand up and walk over to the blonde haired boy and shake his hand, leading him out of the office. Only one left. "And you'll be going with Riku then dear." I sighed and stood up, slouching over to him and jerking my head towards the exit out of the office. "And one last thing before you leave Riku."

"Yeah?"

"Be nice to him." She gave me a knowing look and I rolled my eyes, clutching my clipboard a little tighter as I stomped out of the office and into the lobby. It wasn't until we were out of hearing range of the secretary that I turned around to look him over.

"What's your name then kid?" I asked, taking in his strange appearance. His dark washed jeans looked too big for him, his studded belt barely fastening them tightly in place making them look like they'd been passed down to him from someone else. His bark blue button up dress shirt complimented his tanned skin... what a second, where the hell did that come from? Since when do I give a shit what anyone looks like?

"Sora Cauchemar," He said softly, his sapphire blue eyes boring into mine. I blinked and looked away, not sure what to do now. Where was I supposed to start? "You don't really want to show me around do you Riku?"

"Well, I didn't sight up for it if that's what you mean. But hey, I can't help that I got signed up anymore that you can help being such following me around." I frowned, ruffling through the papers attached to my clipboard to distract myself. I sighed, giving up and looking up into his face. He looked like he had a brown porcupine sitting on his head in place of his hair. I chuckled softly, stopping suddenly with the realization that I had laughed openly in front of someone. "Okay, let's just start with the ground floor alright?"

He nodded and we were off, me showing him all the different classroom doors, leading him into the empty room that didn't have classes to meet the teachers and all that jazz like a proper student guide was supposed to, finding his locker and helping him open it so that he could shove his heavy bag inside it before we continued the tour, me having to grab his wrist to keep from loosing him in the crowd as the bell rang.

Strangely enough it seemed he was enjoying himself – and even stranger... so was I.

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Well there you go, chapter 4!!!! Whooooo, it's done.

Okay, Sora's last name is 'cauchemar' which means nightmare in French, Demyx and Roxas' last name is 'rêve' which means dream in French, Yuffie's last name is 'guerroyeur' which means fighter in French, Axel's last name is 'fuego'which jeans FIRE in Spanish, and Riku's last name is 'Hykura' which jeans nothing whatsoever!!!!

Please review, the submit review button is oh so close!!!!


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